Don't ask what happened;

The truth is known to sting. But really, it's like, we know the answers, but don't want to admit it to ourselves. And what is the definition of insanity? Repeating the same actions and expecting different results? Something like that, anyway.

All the dumb pop songs in the world can't save you from the inevitable. Rinse and repeat. It's the car crash mentality of our era, can't stop, can't look away.

And mania is just as bad, if not worse, than depression. Don't let anyone tell you otherwise. Because at some point, your heart is just gonna explode. Sensory overload.

Like shattered glass on blacktop.

they told me he was bad, but i knew he was sad...


goddamnit, every time i blog it automatically updates to my facebook too.

anyone know how to change that?

omg, i can listen to Pet Sounds again.

that may mean nothing to most of you, but let me tell you... it's an awesome feeling.


anything worth doing
is worth getting hurt for


it's not what you think though.

don't even attempt, to try. to guess.

i'm still voraciously and furiously devouring all my books, at an alarming rate. it's... better. different. but better.

...since the last post, i've only picked up a guitar once. once. it's sad. i was and still am completely serious about it, it's just a matter of procrastination. and my eternally self-defeating attitude.

same reason why i don't blog as much as i used to. i get a really good idea in my head, and then... then it just falls flat. i get all these excuses in the back of my head; its already been said before, and better, by someone else, or god knows what else.

my brain is consistently working against me.

oh well.

i've made no mistakes
i'm never learning from that
i got no regrets
i wanna do it again
do it A - G - A- I - N

postscript... i've been thinking lately.... i really, really miss careening down backroads of southern oregon in a blood red late fifties buick super.... i've been listening to all this rockabilly lately, this raw, sexy, pure rock and roll music.. and it really evokes that sort of passion in me.. it's innocent, yet it's dirty, it's sexy..

i'm so not a car person, either. but i miss that buick super. and everything it represented.