sleeping aides and razorblades.

Today's list:

• Cups of coffee (so far): 3
Yeah, I gave up energy drinks. Too expensive. Now I gotta choke down the free coffee in our breakroom. And for all I know, it was scraped off the bottom of the Mississippi. Or something like that.

• Times I've listened to Guitar Romantic: a million
But really, don't you wonder how many times you've listened to a particular record? Records you've been listening to and loving for years. Crazy.

And while I'm on the subject, there's something really comforting about knowing a record inside and out like that. From start to finish. It's almost intimate.

• Cigarettes smoked: half a pack?
That can't be right. I must have opened 'em yesterday at the bar. Oh god I just called it "the bar". Where is my life headed?!

Fuck this, I'm having cabin fever and it's a gorgeous stormy day. I just want to curl up in bed with a notebook and an ashtray.


oh this just kills me.

"you know i'll be lonely to no end
and you still have the beach and your friends.
but remember girl, you dont have to lie
if you find a new love by the 4th of July

in my letter i'll send you love, believe it
with tears so blue and crystal clear
and remember girl, have a good time
when i get back in school
when i get back in line"

I'm overdosing on caffeine and debt. Sad songs and sentiments.

But nothing good is ever convienient, right?


space girl & astroboy

This is going to sound strange, but it's really good to be back at work.

I miss him already though.

But I've got an arsenal of two-headed nickels and inside jokes to keep me warm while I wait.


wednesday's child is full of woe.

All these songs and these endless days are driving me crazy. I just want another vacation.

Side A
Death Cab – I Will Follow You Into The Dark
The Good Life – Album of the Year
Johnny Thunders – You Can't Put Your Arms Around A Memory
Herman Dune – I Wish That I Could See You Soon
Joy Division – Transmission
Joe Jackson – Breaking Us in Two
Yeah Yeah Yeahs – Maps
Muse – Our Time Is Running Out
Bhopal Stiffs – Bottle It Up
Iggy Pop- Nightclubbing

Side B
Kanye West – Homecoming
The Stills – Lola Stars and Stripes
The Replacements – I'll Be You
The Shangri-Las – Remember (Walking in the Sand)
OMD – If you Leave
Interpol – No "I" In Threesome
Emily Haines and the Soft Skeleton – Crowd Surf Off a Cliff
Sonic Youth – Superstar
Nick Cave and the Bad Seeds – Do you Love Me?
The Undertones – Get Over You
The Strokes – What Ever Happened
The Cure – Like Cockatoos



I know that Steve Carell is no Don Adams, but I'm really hoping that the Get Smart movie is actually good. If not I'm cracking skulls.


'old sad bastard music'

So here's my Monday morning mixtape:

Gene Pitney – Town Without Pity
Ramones – Listen to My Heart
Exploding Hearts – Thorns In Roses
The Good Life – Lovers Need Lawyers
Amy Winehouse – You know I'm No Good
Joy Division – Isolation
Bloc Party – The Prayer
Naked Raygun – Knock Me Down
Buzzcocks – Just Lust
The Cramps – All Women Are Bad
Articles of Faith (or is it Battalion of Saints?) – Second Coming
DV8 – Guns on the Right
Revolting Cocks – Stainless Steel Providers
MIA – Bamboo Banga
Buddy Holly – Modern Don Juan
Teenage Head – Picture My Face
Interpol – The Heinrich Maneuver
The Wedding Present – Further North than You
Patsy – She's got You
The Good Life – Inmates
Beatles – Baby's in Black
Panic At the Disco – Nine in the Afternoon
Death Cab for Cutie – Someday You will Be Loved
The Faint – Southern Belles In London Sing
Cristina Monet – Is that All There Is?
Weezer – The Good Life

We don't have TV or internet set up in the new place yet, so all I've been able to do is listen to records and old mixtapes. I've been pretty much obsessively making compilations for myself and my friends.

The new place is gorgeous, but for some reason it’s a little lonely. I know I've got my roommates but they're dating, they've got each other to share the excitement with.

I think I'm just still settling in. I miss my animals and I (sort of) miss my family—although I don't quite know how to handle my father's emotions, especially after twenty five years of not really being there for me in that respect. Hahaha.

I know it'll be fine though. These things take time.


home of the brave.

Here's the playlist of the past recent weeks in my life:

1. Ramones - S/T
2. Teenage Head - S/T
3. The Exploding Hearts - Guitar Romantic
4. Yelle - Pop Up

Oh I could go on. There's also The Undertones, The Buzzcocks, a bunch of really ridiculous dance music. But what I was really getting to is that for the past couple days, I have been listening nonstop to Naked Raygun. It's like a compulsion. And no matter that some of their later records really break my heart - it's just too good not to listen to. And it really is kind of appropriate for the situation.

Okay, I know everyone's got different ears and they interpret music in different ways, drawing on their own experiences and such, but here's what I got on them, if anyone even cares:

Naked Raygun, in my opinion, were a really militant, almost right-wing punk band on their first couple records (I don't count that ep with Swingo... Basement Screams? Whatever). But listen to All Rise or Throb Throb and it's just totally working-class Chicago punk.

But starting on All Rise and moreso with Jettison, things got more emotional. Not emo, mind you, just raw and powerful. The more the band matured, the more the music became about the fear of growing old, the disappointment of adulthood... but then again, maybe I'm just adapting it to my own experiences.

I don't effing know. Listen to Treason. Listen to Entrapment. Or Walk in Cold. Or Off the Edge. It just kills me.

ED: Oh my god, or their cover of the Buzzcocks' Running Free. Goddamn.


Marge: So like, did you do anything else besides pack a few things? Did you change your license or anything?

Me: Well, I DID change my location on Myspace.

Marge: *sigh*

make a plan to love me.

Only five more days!!!

I am in love with everything right now.

I find it funny that I really tried to make this blog a vehicle for my pop culture rants, and now it's no different than a grocery list. Ah well!

I'm gonna go watch Zach and Kelly break up for the twentieth time.



I have a home. But it's not mine anymore. Everything's boxed up and strewn about. I have the apartment... but it's not mine just yet. I have nowhere to go really.

I'm in limbo.