perfect day.

I seriously want to start writing scripts. Not just for film but just little skits. I had so much fun working on Jimmy's, and I have a couple ideas already. So who's got a camera???

Saturday at my brother's place, everyone talked about how much happier I seem. And they're right.

Mark might come work with me. I really hope so. He deserves a really good job. Plus he'd be two cubes down from me, so that's incentive enough. Haha.

I'm taking another week off too. I'm really excited. And I have awesome people to spend it with. I can't wait.


debauchery at its finest.

My nights are getting stranger and stranger.

I feel incredibly displaced right now. Granted, I'm not moving far by any means, but this isn't home anymore. It's purgatory.

I've got separation anxiety, but from what?

This place is a ghost town. Tristesse, joie, c'est comme ça.


gee my life's a funny thing.

It's strange.

The more that I do with myself, the less that I have to say.

So fourteen days til the move?

Don't let me hear you say life's taking you nowhere, angel.


step into my office, baby.

Ugh. Okay there is literally nothing to do at work right now. So commencing cabin fever, it's too nice to be here but not nice enough to call in sick.

I feel like a raw, open nerve. I know I've been saying this quite a lot, but everything that has been happening lately has left me excited, nervous, and maybe even a little on edge. It's so easy to tell yourself that you're going to relax and just let things happen, but apparently I can't even take my own advice, let alone anyone else's.

I've been reading a girl's blog lately. Sort of a friend of mine. I feel like she hasn't been given enough credit, given what she's been through. Granted, you never know what goes on between two people, but it's disgusting how many people have made up their minds about who is right and who is wrong, without even knowing them. Then again I'm biased myself, because I'm just another scorned woman. But at least I don't have to hear about my ex on television and on the internet. I do, however, feel like my ex 'went hollywood' too, just without actually going there.

I don't hate it when my friends become successful; I just don't like it when they leave everyone they loved behind.

I could say that 'it sucks when people change' or whatever, but it doesn't. It hurts for a while, but then you move on. Things may get better, they may get worse. You just have to keep on. And you meet new people and you reconnect with old ones. It's just the way the world works.

So. Fifteen days till I move.


Jimmy got the pilot! Fuck yeah! I'm so proud of him. Now let's just hope the pilot gets picked up!

But now I don't know if he'll be able to upload the audition video to youtube... I think there might be a copyright issue there or something. Or maybe I'm just making that up. Haha. Either way I'm excited for him!!


whoa doc, that's heavy.

It's a good thing I'm moving out, because my freestanding wardrobe just collapsed under its own weight. That gives you an idea of the sick amount of clothing I have acquired throughout the years.

Everything has become really surreal. That's all I can say about it. Not bad at all though.

I know making compilations has lost a lot of magic in this digital age, but I still find it exciting. Especially since there hasn't been someone to make comps for in a really long time.

Ughhhhh. I need sleep.


rest my chemistry.

I've been burning the candle at both ends lately. It's been amazing and it's been fun but I'm incredibly tired. I think I need to pace myself.

But I feel like I want to see and do it all. And I feel like I need to do this while I'm still relatively young. Haha.

I just want to be a beatnik, I think. I want to see the world and have intense conversations and long, smoky nights.



Well last night was great for two reasons.

One! I was rollerskating with friends and landed on my ass. Not just any kind of fall, but the spectacular wipeout you wish you'd gotten on camera. Luckily, my rather ample behind cushioned the fall.

Two! I had my first speaking role yesterday, in my friend Jimmy Shay's audition tape. What was my motivation? I couldn't really tell you... but here's hoping that Jimmy gets the TV show!


shiny silver dollar in either eye

Well, we move May 10! Fantastique!!!

It was bittersweet at first, but now that it's actually happening, I'm excited. I'm excited for new experiences and opportunities.

Haha. When did I become so optimistic?


bittersweet world.

Well things have been pretty exciting lately. Exciting and nervewracking all at once. For the first time in a long time, I've been incredibly happy. And I've been enjoying myself.

But on the other hand, it's incredibly bittersweet.

I just said goodbye to my snakes, my babies. I cried at the petstore, held both of them for something like an hour before I was able to leave. They're my babies, they always will be.

And I'm starting to pack everything of mine up, or at least get it sorted out before the move. I'm going to miss this place and I'm going to miss my mother and the cats. It's going to be really strange. And of course I worry about my mom. I guess I always felt like I had to be there for her, to make sure she's feeling okay and to make sure her cigarettes are fully extinguished. Hah.

I thought for a long time that I would be moving out with the person that I once loved and cared about, but it isn't happening that way. So I guess that's kind of strange too.

And I still can't stop thinking about a boy that I barely even know. I gave him my number in a fit of alcoholic courage, and now I feel ridiculous. I feel even more ridiculous for still having hope that he might change his mind and want to get to know me. Foolish, foolish me.

I'm just in a really weird place right now. It's not a bad thing. But maybe a little surreal.