bittersweet world.

Well things have been pretty exciting lately. Exciting and nervewracking all at once. For the first time in a long time, I've been incredibly happy. And I've been enjoying myself.

But on the other hand, it's incredibly bittersweet.

I just said goodbye to my snakes, my babies. I cried at the petstore, held both of them for something like an hour before I was able to leave. They're my babies, they always will be.

And I'm starting to pack everything of mine up, or at least get it sorted out before the move. I'm going to miss this place and I'm going to miss my mother and the cats. It's going to be really strange. And of course I worry about my mom. I guess I always felt like I had to be there for her, to make sure she's feeling okay and to make sure her cigarettes are fully extinguished. Hah.

I thought for a long time that I would be moving out with the person that I once loved and cared about, but it isn't happening that way. So I guess that's kind of strange too.

And I still can't stop thinking about a boy that I barely even know. I gave him my number in a fit of alcoholic courage, and now I feel ridiculous. I feel even more ridiculous for still having hope that he might change his mind and want to get to know me. Foolish, foolish me.

I'm just in a really weird place right now. It's not a bad thing. But maybe a little surreal.


Anonymous said...

no need to feel foolish :)

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