● Ahhh... I don't really have much to say today. I've been sick, sort of- It started a couple days ago. For whatever reasons, I felt like I couldn't breathe. It felt like a giant, twenty pound brick was positioned right above my chest cavity. And another, smaller (more realistically proportioned) brick was perched right on the base of my head, where my hairline ends and my neck begins. There’s a robin’s egg-sized lump back there, too, and it hurt to the touch. Naturally this had me more than mildly alarmed—not only am I a hypochondriac, but I have a raging case of panic disorder.

Well I went to the Doctor today, armed with a purple post-it note of all my symptoms. He had me lie down on the exam table, fold my arms behind my head, and he proceeded to CRACK EVERY BONE IN MY NECK. Whatever he did, it must have looked like he was trying to kill me. He wrenched my head from side to side, each time feeling that staccato of bones- joints, whatever- cracking at a machine gun pace. Apparently, this had something to do with my breathing?

Well I still feel like I can't breathe, but he said that has more to do with my anxiety than anything. Jesus. At least my neck is fine now. As an added bonus, he told me never to go to a chiropractor, because they're frauds. My doctor is hilarious.

● Also... why do people hate Kanye so much? Or maybe I should rephrase that. Why is he such a polarizing character? He's either loved or loathed, and I'm a part of the former. Personally, I agree that he's egotistical, but that's part of his hilariousness. And it's not like he doesn't have the talent to back it up. His music is fucking great. I think the haters just don't want to admit that.

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